Monday, November 1, 2010

Manners?

I am writing down these little segments from dinner tonight for posterity. I want to mark this day, as the beginning of a new era. I don't know what it will be called. But I am hoping it will be a little more civilized.

AJ: Mom, I need my own knife. This dinner is a little creepy
Me: Well, okay. Only if it's one of the kid knives.
JR: Mom, I don't think I wiped very well when I pooped earlier
Me: Okay.
Me: AJ, the knife is not a sword
Me: AJ, the knife is not a machete
Me: AJ, don't cut the table. DON'T lick the edge of the knife.

Me. AJ, give me the knife.

JR: Mom, I spilled my chocolate milk. It's all over the curtains. Sorry. Can I have some more?
(this is the first time EVER I have made chocolate milk for the kids)
AJ: "Sluuuuuuuurp"
Me: Asher, don't lick milk off the table!
AJ: Don't worry mom. I have more!

Me: Chew with your mouth closed.
Me: Smaller bites please
Me: Use your fork, and don't talk with your mouth full.
AJ: I Wooonth moom
Me: Ew.

Me: Chewing once does not count as actually chewing!

AJ: We all have three hearts.
Me: Interesting, don't stand up in the chair.

AJ: Mom, I'm cold!

Me: Well, you shouldn't have come to the table naked. (although, I know why he did. He requested that he have a scar just like Will's on his shoulder. Will drew one on with a sharpie and, well, what's the point of having a scar if you can't show it off?)

I am appalled at my children's manners.
But I am thrilled that not once did they complain about what they had to eat.
AND, at the end of dinner, a half-clothed 3 year old and his older sister said "thanks" and took their plates to the sink.
HA!
HA!
I WILL prevail.

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