Nashville in November

This November I will be going to Nashville to record my first solo album.

Oh.. You didn't know?

Neither did I.

Until a month ago I thought it was just a nice, distant hope, and one that was pleasantly and unobtrusively shaping my "dream future".

I was casually writing songs and singing a little here and there.

Then I started praying about it. I decided this was going to happen.

Someday..

So.

I told Will that I was going to start working toward recording.

I punched a hole in a jelly jar and started putting dollar bills and coins in.

It took months to get $700. Less than a tenth of what I would need.

But I was so excited!

Then Will and I decided to move back to Texas.

Without the prospect of a job.

There went the jelly jar savings!

Then

The strangest thing happened.

The best kind of twist -

"poof" a precious "fairy godmother" appeared

And literally said, "I would like to make your dreams come true!!"

And so she is.

I am recording at a wonderful studio

With Andy Osenga as my producer

And all I have to come up with are travel expenses!!

Well.

I know that fairy godmothers aren't real.

And things don't happen "poof", out of thin air.

But it's hard for me to believe that God is doing this.

That He planned it.

Provided for it

Because I have been a little bit angry with Him lately.

Honestly. I am confused that He would allow me to do this.

I am humbled

And I am sad that I didn't trust Him in the first place.

I should have known.

So

I have resolved.

That.

Even if I don't get to go to Nashville in November

I know that He has something better.

Hopefully it involves a spot at His feet.

I don't need a jelly jar or a fairy godmother for that.

rewritten, for my own courage..

PSALM 6

Lord, you are angry,

please don't punish me.

I am in physical pain and confusion

because of mental anguish

I need MERCY.

I need HEALING.

My soul is writhing.

And every heartbeat is a reminder

that

I have waited and waited.

How much longer will I have to wait?

TURN AROUND GOD

I am RIGHT HERE.

Save me.

Save me.

I appeal to the truth

that your love cannot fail

I appeal to your desire for praise.

I won't be able to praise you if I die.

I won't even be able to think about you.

I submit to you now.

I AM DONE

DONE!!

I have cried so much my face is raw and my bed is drenched.

I can't see straight

But even if I could, I wouldn't want to.

Life is too overwhelming.

I give up and I trust, I think...

SO,

HEY.

You liars and manipulators

who don't even think about your affect on others.

GET AWAY FROM MY FAMILY

This courage is not mine!

I know that

I HAVE BEEN HEARD.

I HAVE BEEN HEARD.

I

Have been heard.

my words have been angry

but my cry has been desperate

MERCY!! PLEASE!

The Lord accepts this?

The Lord accepts this!!!

Suddenly

Suddenly

The manipulators are ashamed

suddenly

The liars are exposed and a little confounded

What happened?

They have turned away,

because my God has turned toward me.

Not because of me

Not my cry

Not my faithless, pittiful whine.

LOVE

is

rescue

it is on it's way.

Not only do I get to be rescued

I get to watch while everything is made right.

thank you

Father.

(and thanks Kimmy. I love you for turning my mind back to Jesus)